Topic choice is crucial in responding to this prompt. While your adverse experience should convey hardship, the bulk of your response should focus on your response to this adversity. For example, the loss of a parent is devastating, but your essay should focus on how you used your pain to inspire you to give back to others or connect more deeply with your community.
Choose adverse experiences that allow you to meaningfully demonstrate self growth. Carefully choose the details you provide about your adverse experience. Avoid discussing taboo topics such as personal drug or alcohol use. If you are writing about a sensitive subject matter, do not include unnecessarily graphic or macabre details as they may isolate your reader. Remember that the ultimate focus of this prompt is your perseverance, not a detailed account of your suffering.
Your essay does not depend on having an intensely adverse experience, as not everyone will have had one. This prompt uses adversity as a means to see your personal growth and development. For example, you could write about how your struggles in calculus initially shook your self-confidence, but you learned to seek help from others and place your self worth in areas outside of academics.
You should not fabricate an adverse experience under any circumstances. At best, admissions counselors will likely be able to spot your lack of authenticity and the quality of your essay will suffer. At worst, you could face serious repercussions depending on the severity of the fabrication.
My Short-Term and Long-Term Goals
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Loved the article? Share it! CollegeVine College Essay Team at. Short bio. Our college essay experts go through a rigorous selection process that evaluates their writing skills and knowledge of college admissions. We also train them on how to interpret prompts, facilitate the brainstorming process, and provide inspiration for great essays, with curriculum culled from our years of experience helping students write essays that work.
Learn more about our consultants. Other articles by CollegeVine. How to Write the Pitzer College Essays How to Write the University of Kansas Essays Related CollegeVine Blog Posts. College Essays , Essay Breakdowns 11 min read. How to Write the Rice University Essays College Essays , Essay Breakdowns 4 min read. Finally, if you have time, you may wish to rework this section. A thorough description of one particular project perhaps your thesis topic would be much more persuasive than a list of numerous activities. I do not think this paragraph adds much to your essay. You need to prove your qualifications through examples rather than simply describe them to reader.
This sentence is a good example of an uncorroborated assertion. Although you are undoubtedly hard working and decisive, you need to prove it to the reader through concrete examples. As I mentioned in the first section of my critique, your essay will be stronger if you cite more specific goals. See my suggestions in the text, and be sure to elaborate on your specific areas of interest. I suggest concluding your essay with the description of your long-term goals. Reemphasizing your desire to make education accessible to all is a great way to conclude your essay, and it brings your statement to a resonant close.
Overall, this is an excellent start to a compelling essay.
Keep in mind that although the committee allows you to write up to five pages, three double-spaced pages is usually adequate. Feel free to add more detail, but make sure your text is concise and transparent. Too often, authors put ideas onto the page, but do not render those ideas compellingly.
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Giving your sentences a bit of extra effort, and giving your experiences a bit of extra reflection, will result in a persuasive essay that compliments your accomplishments and character. See this essay before the edit.
Skip to content. Edited Essay As a single mother who has confronted homelessness and poverty, I am committed to reforming public education. Paragraph 2 This paragraph did a good job of describing your work at the Christian Assistance Ministry.
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Paragraph 3 This paragraph required more up-front details. Paragraph 4 To ensure that your description of the learning center is intelligible, I added more details to place this discussion in context.
Writing Your Statement of Goals
Did you know your essay makes up 25% of your college application?
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Password Your password must be at least 8 characters long. Do you envision yourself on the "tenure track," teaching and researching at a large university? Teaching at a community college in a smaller urban area? Moving from academic life into industry or consulting?
If you're applying to Master's-level programs, will you be able to achieve what you want to achieve with your Master's degree, or will a Ph. Share your specific memories of how you decided that teaching is the ideal career path for you, how you realized that a Ph.
Extract of sample "Scholarship Help You Attain Your Goals"
Beyond the financial rewards of your desired career path, what motivates you? Will you be applying for Teaching or Research Assistantships? Have you contacted particular faculty members with experience or publications in your area of interest who could sit on your committee?
Have you considered the various course offerings and come up with a "short list" of courses that will bring you closer to your career goals? Explain not only what you know about your field, but also what you don't know-where is your knowledge particularly strong, and what areas do you still need to learn more about in order to reach your goals? Remember that graduate school is just one step in an ongoing and flexible process, not the "magic button" that will make all your dreams come true. Even if you think your career could take you in three or four very different directions, try to commit to a single clear career path in your application.
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